One word: painful. So painful you literally feel it inside. Your heart beats so fast but this time not because of the excitement anymore. You feel your throat throbbing and you just feel like running out of breath already.
Tears springing out of our eyes are hot and it’s a lot- like you suddenly started crying out a whole year’s supply of tears. And you make no sounds anymore while crying because it’s THAT painful and you take in heavy and deep sighs along with it. And worst is, all you can feel is pity. You feel sorry for yourself.
It’s bad. Especially if it is your first time. You better pray it IS your last because who wants to go through another round of it again? But it happens. Most of the time, we get our hearts broken more than once.
And then we go ask ourselves the biggest question: WHY?
Simple. It just didn’t work out. Simple as it may sound but the most difficult to accept. Because we always look back on the good times, the memories, all the best things about the relationship- WHEN IT STILL EXISTED. But remember, it no longer does, even if you just broke up 2 hours ago.
Like i said there is no easy way to deal with a break up. We do all sorts of crazy things to cope with the pain. In fact, sometimes too crazy we get surprised with how far we are willing to go.
I mean come on, we all heard stories, (or even admit to doing some of it) like stalking on Facebook, twitter, dialing the number just to hear the voice, following him and hiding (stalker right?-but hey i did this once) still being in touch with the family, friends and secretly hoping they will make him realize that you guys are meant to be, or even agreeing to be “best friends” only to act like a jealous gf when he starts doing this on his own… OH the list goes on. Like I said we all have our own pathetic ways to dealing with the pain.
But trust me when i say, the pain is just temporary. Yes, all of it. To be realistic, about a year-tops. (2 years can be categorized as self torture already I suggest get yourself checked up by a doctor already) No matter what, even if we do the craziest post breakup sins, nature has its way of healing us, and our body makes us forget, sooner or later. We just have to WANT to move on. There are good days and bad days. Some days we get so tempted to call and just be ultra nice and sell ourself short and ask him out (for old time’s sake) , and some days when the company of our friends is more than enough. Some days we feel like we need another guy (the rebound) or days when being a self declared alcoholic is the only solution. It’s mind wrecking trust me. But remember: it’s all gonna be over soon.
No pain is permanent. Actually nothing is. So look forward to that. Allow yourself the post breakup drama but don’t stay in it too long. Allow yourself to cry and sulk but don’t wallow in sadness. The great thing about being vulnerable is that you are so in touch with yourself that you become sensitive to details in life that you have often taken for granted. Whatever that may be, put it into good use. You also learn to pray harder. You become closer to God and He loves it (trust me)
Do not ever deny yourself from feeling the pain. Embrace it. Mourn. You have the right to do so. You broke up with someone who used to make you happy, someone who you shared your life and dreams with. It’s just that maybe he isn’t the one yet. And after all the pain you have been through, wouldn’t you rather be with THE one already than go through another round of pain again?
So own it. Claim it. Make yourself WANT to move on. The time has come for you to take a step further from that horrible pain and start fixing your heart. This is growing. Allow yourself to learn form this. Never walk out from anything in life, good or bad, without taking something with you- the lessons. This is the best teacher in life, our experiences. Because it is first hand learning. We are directly involved. It is like life’s ultimate on-the-job-training. No grades, just lessons learned. And as we grow, we should keep learning. I guess this is how it is to be human.
You can’t be whole with a broken heart so work on that first. Then everything will eventually follow. Before you know it, you’re smiling again, laughing again, eating again (food tastes good once again) and you’re back to your usual self again. And you forget the pain. You remember it but you don’t feel it anymore. You can actually look back now, and be thankful for the person that you have become, because of that experience. And you tell yourself, you’ re ready for more. Good or bad, bring it on.
Then you may fall in love again.
Because you can.